New year oral sex

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The programme was considerably enlivened by comedian Kathy Griffin referring to the fiscal cliff as "the fisting cliff", then repeatedly dropping to her knees and pretending to simulate fellatio on her visibly unamused co-host Anderson Cooper : "I'm going down, you know you want to," she told him. Lost in Showbiz confesses that, at first, it thought this all sounded pretty funny. Indeed, it ruefully reflected that it sounded substantially more entertaining than anything on British TV on the night of 31 December.

How much more interesting would Graham Norton's interview with Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood of The Great British Bake Off have been if the Grande Dame of the pithivier and petits fours had taken a leaf out of Griffin's book, suddenly grasped Hollywood's testicles and announced: "I'm tickling your sac"? That was, of course, until it read the Daily Mail's take on events and was swiftly forced to reconsider.

Keen as ever not to create an unnecessary furore, the Mail reported that "Many failed to see the funny side of her antics and branded her behaviour 'vile' and 'putrid'. Lost In Showbiz must admit that it had never heard of the Parents Television Council, but it was intrigued — mostly by the use of the word "even" in the Mail's report. This suggested that it must be an organisation renowned for its restraint, which would start "fuming" only when faced with the most unbearable provocation.

It definitely is not to be confused with, say, The Arnica Network, which recently orchestrated a campaign against the BBC, claiming it had "missed another child protection issue".

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This sounds very serious in the wake of the Savile child-abuse scandal, but turned out to refer to an episode of the CBeebies programme Get Well Soon in which a singing doctor called Dr Ranj had given a puppet called Deep an inoculation. That's clearly a bit OTT, but Lost in Showbiz looked into the work of the Parents Television Council and is delighted to report back that no one could ever use such a phrase in connection with its work.

Here is an entirely unhysterical conservative organisation, famed for its softly-softly approach. Lost in Showbiz looks at that scant handful of complaints and says: here is an organisation that obviously feels impelled to take up cudgels only under the most extreme duress.

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If "even" it feels the need to get involved, something must be very wrong indeed. Now is surely the time not just for CNNbut every television organisation to follow the wise suggestion of the PTC's president, Tim Winter, and institute a code of conduct expressly forbidding "its on-air talent to fondle a co-anchor's genitals". Lost in showbiz Celebrity. Alexis Petridis. Reuse this content.

New year oral sex

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